Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Newspaper headlines: 'A generation let down' and 'Israel claims control' - BBC

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What's it like to have an IQ of 140 to 170? Do people notice you're different?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What type of shoes do avid runners typically prefer and why? Is there a difference in performance between different types of running shoes?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

12 Shocking Celebrity Revelations From This Week That You Simply Won't Believe - BuzzFeed

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

I can read

Thomson Reuters Ushers in the Next Era of AI with Launch of Agentic Intelligence - Thomson Reuters

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Eligendi molestiae corrupti numquam voluptatum doloremque laudantium eum.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Is it helpful to justify the reason for a breakup when ending a relationship?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Can you list every album you have ever listened to?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fakery

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity